If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize