Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
