If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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