I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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