i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
