the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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