Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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