The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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