im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
