been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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