WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If I die, sorry about rent.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
