Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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