shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
