I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm jealous of your bromance
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
