By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize