Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
