the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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