so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
