Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
