it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
