and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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