dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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