What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize