My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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