He disabled his match.com account in front of me
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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