He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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