i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
