I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
