Don't make out with my wife yet
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
