how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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