Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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