I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
