I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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