It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
