I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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