It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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