Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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