He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
