I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
