nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
