You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
