i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
And then he peed in my hair
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