I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
