Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
