How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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