he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I yelled at your uterus for you.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
