Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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