Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
