Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
