he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
