I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
