Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
