I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
