just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize