First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
did i just pee glitter
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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