im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
