My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
