Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
