I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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