shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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