Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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