But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
